A Memory From When I Was Twelve

I remember being twelve years old, and more than anything I wanted to escape my parents. I come from a home where my mom and dad are very loving and at the same time, very protective. Due to being the eldest of three children, I have always been the "responsible one". But when I was twelve, my cousin Rian got married, and we went down to the area between Los Angeles and San Diego for the wedding. For some reason I don't recall the name of the area exactly, just that it was really hot and really wonderful. The change of scenery was great because up here in Seattle, it is always raining and freezing COLD.

A few days after the wedding, my relatives, all the members of my father's family, wanted to go and ride quads and dirt bikes in the desert. I remember thinking of how I really wanted to ride alone on one of the quads at least, so I begged and begged when we got there. One of my older cousins, Kira, had a very small quad that didn't go too fast and had an easy to work brake on it, so my dad finally relented and let me ride that. (she had a back-up that she preferred anyway)

I rode it with him at first, me riding in front and him showing me how to work everything while I attempted to drive it. Eventually I got really good, and that was when he let me go on my own! The freedom I felt while riding alone was amazing! The wind in my hair because at this point in time, no one saw the need for helmets, and the smell of the desert heat and freedom were in the air. I was SO thrilled to be out there!!!

I rode this a ton until I got nice and comfortable with it, and then my cousins told me that I was going to fast without the helmet and would need to put one on, for my safety. So I did, and we all went off of jumps out there over and over and over again. I watched my cousins Brian and Brett on their dirt bikes and admired their courage. I wanted to be that free and fearless someday. But for now, light jumps off of small sand dunes would do it for me.

I saw a slightly bigger than normal sand dune, and I attempted to jump it. My cousin Kenny told me it was not a good idea, that I could seriously hurt myself on it, but I was twelve and naive and invincible. So I went over to it, attempted the jump, and ended up with the heavy quad on my back. For a few seconds, I was stunned. I was invincible...RIGHT!? Wrong! I most certainly was NOT! I couldn't get the darn thing off my back and my cousins had to come and rescue me. I was frustrated at myself for crashing, for not adhering to my older cousins advice and continuing with the small jumps, but I learned a valuable lesson: take things nice and slow and learn. I should have done that from the start, and I had begun to, only to get cocky and think I could handle something way more than I could. Also, I should have listened to my older wiser cousin, who knew what he was talking about when he said I could get hurt on it.

Back at the camp, they were building a bon-fire. Everyone was sitting around it relaxing, the younger kids and the dogs close by. I remember it getting partially dark out, and we all just grabbed a dog as our pillow and watched the stars come out. I grabbed a dog named Bear! Ha ha! The "grown-ups" as we called them back then began to drink and party and the night drew to a close, all of us sleeping there, under the stars in the desert. I still remember the smell of the perfect sand, and I long for another desert night of fearless freedom like that. To be twelve again and relaxed and care-free.

I always tell people "I was made in the desert on the back of a motorcycle" and anyone who knows my parents knows this is probably true. My mom had her quad and my father his dirt bike, and together, they were one of those fearless crazy couples who, like me, enjoyed their freedom in the dunes.

Hope you enjoyed that!