Thursday, October 14, 2010

When Have I Done ENOUGH?!

I come into work most mornings around 10am, maybe 11am depending on traffic and which bus I was able to catch on time. I work my ass off! I do my very best to manage my time appropriately and work at all times to make sure my work is not only good, but GREAT! I take photos at events, upload them onto servers, edit what needs to be edited, do posters, advertise, and guess what? I do all of this ALONE! I have a co-worker, but that co-worker is never there to help me! I keep working and working and doing my very best, but no one listens when I say "she never assists me!" or "she isn't helping me!" I have had some people notice my stress level, because it is rising so high, and right now, I cannot seem to do anything about it. Its like the more I try to not be stressed, the more stressed I get. Along with school and all 400 level classes, this job is killing me! I have looked for other work though, and there is none. I keep on thinking about what I could possibly do to improve my situation, and I can't think of anything. I already spoke to my boss regarding my co-worker, but she went out of town today and was unable to talk to my co-worker about her performance, or rather lack of, at work. When have I done ENOUGH? When will everyone around me see I am stretched to my limits and not able to stretch any further? They just don't seem to understand.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

A Picnic With The Japanese Exchange Students

I was invited to a picnic at the beach with the Japanese exchange students who are in town from Sapporo Japan. It was so much fun! I arrived at the school to take the bus to the lake where the picnic was going to be, and everyone divided up into two vans because one van was going to be picking up some people from a local mall. I rode over with a girl named Nami and two crazy boys who had a video camera and filmed everything. Nami and I talked a lot, I wanted to help her practice her English. She speaks English fairly well, and we talked a lot about various subjects. I showed her churches and she explained that they have more temples in Japan than churches. I explained that we were going to the country for the picnic, and that she had been in the city for most of her visit in the USA.

It was our van that was to pick up the extra people, and at the mall, five old Russian women loaded into the van. They could have been my grandma's friends! Haha! They talked and talked for the rest of the trip, and the quiet van we had been in quickly got loud. Nami and I huddled together to talk more, and the van quickly began to smell of old perfume and potato pancakes. Nami shook her head and laughed when she realized all of this was happening.

When we arrived at the lake house that the picnic was going to be at, we were greeted warmly by the owners, who had set everything up for us to use. They had a changing area so we could change into swim suits, an outdoor bathroom, a storage area for water toys, and two boats that were located just off the dock we would be jumping in off of to go swimming. The boats were a canoe and a boat that you had to peddle to make it go. Nami didn't want to get wet, neither did Naomi, but Yukari, who came later with her host family, brought a pair of pants she didn't mind getting wet. I forgot a swim suit, but the owner of the house gave me one to use while I was there.

Yukari and I made it our goal to get Nami wet, but Naomi told us she couldn't swim and didn't wish to get wet, so we respected her wishes. The boys all had a great time in the water. The paddled out into the middle of the lake many times, even tipping the boat and soaking themselves a few times. Jen, the other American girl who came with the group, took a lot of pictures. I took a few with my phone, but my camera is breaking down after 5 or so years.

Around 5pm, after swimming a lot and eating ice cream delivered from the ice cream truck, we went to a petting zoo that had lamas, ducks, chickens, sheep, goats, a bull and goats. When we pulled up, I shouted "dinner!" and pointed at all the ducks and chickens. The students all shouted dinner after that too, and laughed a lot. Naomi practically jumped into my arms the whole time we were there. A huge shetland sheepdog was also there, and he got really close to her and she hid behind me. The dog was bigger than Naomi, so I understood why she was frightened. I hugged her and told her not to be scared, but she kept holding onto me. She was also scared of the lamas and only took a second to touch the babies before the mothers came and scared her away. Nami touched every animal and took her picture with all of them.

After the petting zoo, we headed back for food, and everyone ate burgers and hot dogs and salad. It was delicious. More pictures were taken, and, after attempting to get Nami wet again, we finally grabbed a squirt gun and got her fairly wet. Naomi played badminton with the boys and Jen, and Gary, the third American to attend, took photos.

Mr. Tanaka, the English teacher, seemed to enjoy watching everything a lot. Eventually, we roasted marshmallows over a fire, and he really liked this American tradition.

On the ride home, I sat with Naomi and we talked about Japan. She told me about her city, and how it is about the size of the city she has been staying in. She told me she lives with a woman who has a daughter who is at college in a different state, so she had a spare room and is hosting her. The woman also has a dog. She told me she loved shopping here, but her favorite part of the trip was talking with me! I was so happy she had enjoyed talking, and I enjoyed her friendship. I found out that she has a boyfriend, who she misses a lot, as well as a few friends she is close to and missing as well. She and Nami work at a restaurant called "Surprise Donkey". We looked at lots of pictures on Naomi's phone of Japan, and she told me about her group of friends and everything. Naomi and I cuddled a bit on the ride back to the school, and we swore we would always be friends, even shaking on it. She told me she likes my personality and feels safe with me, and I took pride in that.

As we walked down to the bus stop, I worked with all of them on their English, correcting any sentences that needed correcting and helping them speak properly. They were all happy about that, especially Matsuda, who is really working hard on that. Such nice kids! I am going to miss them greatly when they go back. I will give them all my card and let them know they can e-mail me any questions they have about English. I will miss Naomi the most, no doubt, but it gives me a reason to go to Japan! Such sweet people.

However, personally, I have found that I do not get along well with the girls from Tokyo. I have met three girls so far, and all were quite rude to me! Ayaka was a total bitch when I asked her simple questions, like how long she had been here and if she enjoyed it here so far, responding with: "a long time!" and "I wouldn't have stayed if I didn't!" She has evil eyes too...they scream of 'I am hot and I know it and I will treat you poorly!' The other two girls from there are Miho, who only finds me if she needs something, a trait I find very rude, and Yuko, who never really talked to me and seemed shy, but also didn't open up when I used my usual techniques to attempt to get her to talk and open up. Naoki, our only male exchange student last year, was very nice and from a town outside of Tokyo. He dated our German exchange student Anna, but it didn't last when they each had to return to their countries.

So...That has been my experience so far! Yukari and Nami both want to stay longer, as do many of the guys. Naomi misses her parents, boyfriend, older sisters, and nephew very much! Her older sister just had a baby boy and she loves and misses him. She enjoys being an aunt a lot. They are all just so sweet and I would love to get to know them better.

I think I have found my calling: I want to get my MA in Education and work as an International Coordinator at a local college. I love these kids, and working with them and helping them has been so rewarding! I am blessed to have gotten to know each and every one of them!

Friday, July 23, 2010

My brother and his girlfriend are idiots!

My brothers girlfriend:
"Who is Joan of Arc? Is she Noah's wife?"
"Doesn't the Easter Bunny lay eggs that have chocolate in them?"
"I can't get pregnant from kissing, can I?"

Conversation between my brother and I:
My brother: "Carissa...I'm lost in Mongolia!"
Me/Carissa: "It's called Magnolia! Mag-nolia...Its a part of Seattle. Did you fail geography?"
My brother: "Yes and I also failed gym class...Can you please help me get home?"

My sister and her boyfriend...well...all they ever do is makeout...everywhere...all the time...its nasty!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

A Memory From When I Was Twelve

I remember being twelve years old, and more than anything I wanted to escape my parents. I come from a home where my mom and dad are very loving and at the same time, very protective. Due to being the eldest of three children, I have always been the "responsible one". But when I was twelve, my cousin Rian got married, and we went down to the area between Los Angeles and San Diego for the wedding. For some reason I don't recall the name of the area exactly, just that it was really hot and really wonderful. The change of scenery was great because up here in Seattle, it is always raining and freezing COLD.

A few days after the wedding, my relatives, all the members of my father's family, wanted to go and ride quads and dirt bikes in the desert. I remember thinking of how I really wanted to ride alone on one of the quads at least, so I begged and begged when we got there. One of my older cousins, Kira, had a very small quad that didn't go too fast and had an easy to work brake on it, so my dad finally relented and let me ride that. (she had a back-up that she preferred anyway)

I rode it with him at first, me riding in front and him showing me how to work everything while I attempted to drive it. Eventually I got really good, and that was when he let me go on my own! The freedom I felt while riding alone was amazing! The wind in my hair because at this point in time, no one saw the need for helmets, and the smell of the desert heat and freedom were in the air. I was SO thrilled to be out there!!!

I rode this a ton until I got nice and comfortable with it, and then my cousins told me that I was going to fast without the helmet and would need to put one on, for my safety. So I did, and we all went off of jumps out there over and over and over again. I watched my cousins Brian and Brett on their dirt bikes and admired their courage. I wanted to be that free and fearless someday. But for now, light jumps off of small sand dunes would do it for me.

I saw a slightly bigger than normal sand dune, and I attempted to jump it. My cousin Kenny told me it was not a good idea, that I could seriously hurt myself on it, but I was twelve and naive and invincible. So I went over to it, attempted the jump, and ended up with the heavy quad on my back. For a few seconds, I was stunned. I was invincible...RIGHT!? Wrong! I most certainly was NOT! I couldn't get the darn thing off my back and my cousins had to come and rescue me. I was frustrated at myself for crashing, for not adhering to my older cousins advice and continuing with the small jumps, but I learned a valuable lesson: take things nice and slow and learn. I should have done that from the start, and I had begun to, only to get cocky and think I could handle something way more than I could. Also, I should have listened to my older wiser cousin, who knew what he was talking about when he said I could get hurt on it.

Back at the camp, they were building a bon-fire. Everyone was sitting around it relaxing, the younger kids and the dogs close by. I remember it getting partially dark out, and we all just grabbed a dog as our pillow and watched the stars come out. I grabbed a dog named Bear! Ha ha! The "grown-ups" as we called them back then began to drink and party and the night drew to a close, all of us sleeping there, under the stars in the desert. I still remember the smell of the perfect sand, and I long for another desert night of fearless freedom like that. To be twelve again and relaxed and care-free.

I always tell people "I was made in the desert on the back of a motorcycle" and anyone who knows my parents knows this is probably true. My mom had her quad and my father his dirt bike, and together, they were one of those fearless crazy couples who, like me, enjoyed their freedom in the dunes.

Hope you enjoyed that!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Shopping...AHHH!

I am so gay…I hate shoe shopping…and I am writing this while slightly buzzed…hehe!

So…I am going to an Oscars party with my mom that requires me to “look pretty”, and she wanted to go to Macy’s and pick out our outfits. My moms best friend Karen came along, and she and my mom had me trying on all sorts of stuff. Now my gf really wanted me to get a red dress, and just as I walked in, I saw the perfect one. I picked it up and tried it on, but it just didn’t look good. I am 5’2” mind you, so most dresses are sooooooo long, and this one was…Like way too long. It was so long it took my mom and Karen pulling it to get it off of me. After that, mom brought me a pile of black skirts to try on. The first one was frilly, the second one was long and regular, and the third one was an older lady style. I of course got told how darling I looked in the first one and that is what I got along with a black camisole and an overcoat.

Next it was shoe shopping! Now, I must tell you that I HATE SHOES THAT ARE GIRLY! I hate heels, I hate half shoes, I hate shoes that are not converse, boots or doc martens…I am gay! But I got stuck with flats that have a slight heel on them, and they totally match this outfit perfectly! But it took a lot of shoving of my feet into these shoes, because they were $22.50, and the last pair of shoes that were that price…anyways! I got them.

Afterward, we went to Mexican food and I got drunk on a Pina Collada and ate a bunch…So much I felt sick! My bro and his gf got all mushy and gross in front of me and I had to keep quiet about being gay while they grilled me on what kind of sex I have had and all that good stuff…And I just giggled and kept my mouth zipped! That is none of their business! Lol. But I did state very matter-of-factly that I did want to adopt from India! Then mom talked to my bro and his gf about how they need to get married by our family friend Dana, who is a pastor, and then Karen looked at me and whispered “I wonder if he does gay weddings…” and I couldn’t stop laughing.

And then my bro farted all the way home care of the beans he consumed at Mexican food…Awesome! Lol. My sister is so drunk at the moment…She wanted to wrestle with me and knocked me down and then jumped on her boyfriend and I don’t even wanna know what happened after that. Yeah!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

My gay/bi in Hollywood speculations...

So, this is just me speculating! Nothing here is fact...Its all my personal thoughts!

I think the following celebrities are gay/bisexual:

Men:

Keanu Reeves: Bisexual
Kevin Spacey: Gay
George Clooney: Bisexual
Rickey Martin: Bisexual
Robert Patinson: Bisexual
Zack Efron: Bisexual
Justin Timeberlake: Bisexual
JC Chasez: Bisexual
Ryan Seacrest: Bisexual
Tom Cruise: GAY...Katie Holmes is his beard and I have a feeling Suri is actually Chris Kline's baby!

Women:

Ellen Page: Gay
Kate Moening: Gay
Jorja Fox: Gay
Queen Latifah: Gay
Missy Elliott: Gay
Jessica Biel: Bisexual
Piper Perabo - Bisexual
Emmanuelle Chriqui - Gay...She is always the cover for the gay men in Hollywood..."dated" Lance Bass.
Heather Graham: Gay
Kristen Stewart: Gay
Nikki Reed: Gay
Rachel Shelley: Gay
Diane Keaton: Gay

Bollywood Women:

All of these women could go either way...All are SINGLE at the moment of this post!

Sushmita Sen
Archie Panjabi
Sheetal Sheth
Shelley Conn

Friday, February 19, 2010

Funny day...

Most mornings I hate getting up, I mean, come on! I am your typical queer 21 year old female. The things on my mind consist of women...sleep...women...sex...etc. You get the picture! Anyway...My alarm went off and I was like "No...Noooooooo....Its too early!" But it wasn't...My meeting was going to start in an hour and if I didn't get ready fast, I was going to miss it.

I crawled out of bed and grabbed the first outfit I could locate, jeans and a bright red polo, dressed, and then proceded into the bathroom to do something with my insanely messy hair. NOW...Being that I have always had Dana Fairbanks like hair, I threw it into the sporty ponytail and did as little makeup as possible. Blah blah and I was off to the bus stop.

By the time my third meeting rolls around, I am running on three cups of coffee and what little food I can afford in this WONDERFUL recession. I walk into the office and see this attractive as all hell female joining my co-worker Morgan..."This is my sister Kaitlin!" She introduces me.

"H-Hi!" Oh God...I must have sounded like the BIGGEST idiot and looked like one too, but DAMN! Morgan is like the most butch female ever however she is totally straight...Its strange!

Wei, my co-worker from China looks at the sisters and says what everyone is thinking: "She is your sister Morgan?" Wei asks.

"Yup!" Morgan replied proudly.

"Wow...She is so much prettier than you!" Wei stated seriously. We all burst out laughing and laughing. Wei then proceeded to defend herself: "No...Morgan is just so...Manly and her sister is so...Girl..." By this point Wei didn't know what else to say so she just walked away, her face a bright shade of red.

So my friend Michael, who has never chaired a meeting in his life, was asked to chair a meeting today. Most of the people attending were there only because well, the committee really has no official members...so we just attended. It was hilarious as we all went off on tangents about what we were supposed to be discussing and by the time we were supposed to be done, we just kept going and going...It was almost two hours of INSANITY! Matt, one of our co-workers, came in with a long stretchy sticky thing and started flinging it around, to which many papers started flying around the room. Now, I have just a bit of OCD, so I ended up really not liking how covered in dirt that thing was and avoided it like the plague, until everyone else playing with it got the better of me and I decided I just had to get ahold of it. Now, everyone at the office knows how much I abhor that THING...But still, I had to prove that I COULD touch it, so I took it from Matt and flug it across the table, causing everyone to laugh their asses off at me! "See, you CAN touch it!" Michael stated.

I smiled proudly...Yes...Yes I can touch some germy thingy...hahaha!

And that was my day...It was funny and crazy and yeah...lol...