A Gay Kid...
I was a gay kid. I remember those days. My family wasn't exactly rich, in fact, we were poor for a long time. Being white and living in America during that era, (the late 1980s and early 1990s) you would think my life would have been nice. But nooooo...We lived in a crappy neighborhood and also lived paycheck to paycheck. My dad did hard manual labor and my mom stayed at home with us kids. It was pretty classic actually.
I remember playing barbies with my friends, and it never went well. I always tried to throw Ken away and make my barbies marry each other instead of Ken. That did not please my mother very much. Not only that, I loved action figures. My cousins always sent their clothes to us, and they were all boys. I always wore boy clothes because of that. I loved legos and being outside too. I was a boy in just about every way.
I remember getting mistaken for one quite frequently after I got a really short haircut. I tried to play that up, but it didn't work. I believe that is when my love for girls truly emerged.
When I was going into second grade, we moved to a bigger house, and I remember getting to my new school. All the girls had crushes on certain boys, but not me. It was awkward for me because I just didn't fit in. Also, I didn't take a liking to any of the girls in my class because none of them were foreign or unique. They were all American...All the same as me nationality wise and not that interesting.
I remember thinking it was way better than my old school, and yet, I hated it there too. Basically, recess was spent climbing trees and avoiding everyone! I didn't want to chase boys or any of that. When we would get a foreign kid, I would attach myself to them. lol.
And that was life. There are times when I have wanted to go back and play "properly", but then I think "no, that would not be being myself." I like how now that I am older, I am me...I don't try to be what I am not anymore. When I was a kid though, I did. I even tried crushes on boys, and they were fake. I wrote about them in my diary and let my mom read my diary because I wanted to seem "normal".
Yep! That was my childhood. I was a gay kid.
I remember playing barbies with my friends, and it never went well. I always tried to throw Ken away and make my barbies marry each other instead of Ken. That did not please my mother very much. Not only that, I loved action figures. My cousins always sent their clothes to us, and they were all boys. I always wore boy clothes because of that. I loved legos and being outside too. I was a boy in just about every way.
I remember getting mistaken for one quite frequently after I got a really short haircut. I tried to play that up, but it didn't work. I believe that is when my love for girls truly emerged.
When I was going into second grade, we moved to a bigger house, and I remember getting to my new school. All the girls had crushes on certain boys, but not me. It was awkward for me because I just didn't fit in. Also, I didn't take a liking to any of the girls in my class because none of them were foreign or unique. They were all American...All the same as me nationality wise and not that interesting.
I remember thinking it was way better than my old school, and yet, I hated it there too. Basically, recess was spent climbing trees and avoiding everyone! I didn't want to chase boys or any of that. When we would get a foreign kid, I would attach myself to them. lol.
And that was life. There are times when I have wanted to go back and play "properly", but then I think "no, that would not be being myself." I like how now that I am older, I am me...I don't try to be what I am not anymore. When I was a kid though, I did. I even tried crushes on boys, and they were fake. I wrote about them in my diary and let my mom read my diary because I wanted to seem "normal".
Yep! That was my childhood. I was a gay kid.
posted by Cari373 at
10:46 PM
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