Birthdays and Poker Games...

Today was my friend's birthday, and we decided we were going to meet up at the mall. I called her first thing when I woke up to see what mall she wanted to go to and stuff, and she told me. I got ready to meet her, and I wore a white t-shirt, jeans, and a scarf she gave me from the last time I saw her. The last time I saw her was on my graduation. I knew she would be happy to see me wearing the scarf she got me. I caught the bus, and she had told me she would be on it, but she wasn't, and I was worried. Mind you this friend has no cellular phone, so I had no way of calling her. But she borrowed someones phone at the bus stop she was at and called me. I got off at the transit center only to see the hot married Indian lady who looks at me all funny...She goes to my school! I cannot figure her out. She always smiles really big when she sees me and stuff. Anyways, I saw her get onto the bus I had just gotten off, and I immediately decided that I had to get back on it. As I quickly attempted to get back on the bus, I almost tripped on my stupid sandal. It was funny and she giggled a bit. Yes, I am obvious! Hahaha! We talked briefly and then the bus took me to the mall I needed to get to. I went up to ZUMIEZ, a store we have here that has some cute hats, and I purchased a fedora. I love hats!!! Hats and scarves...Yes, GAY! Hehe! Anyways, my friend and I had a good day shopping. I spent way to much money. We went to lunch at a Thai restaurant, and we both loved it. I came out to her and she was okay. She told me that I had been through this faze before, which I had, back in high school, but I told her that this time it was different. She told me that she thought because guys had disappointed me that was why I was feeling like this, but I explained to her that it is not just a feeling, I have not liked guys in a LONG time. She told me I should get a girlfriend and experiment. I told her I was looking, but that I did not want a girl who looked like a man. She just laughed. We looked at books at the bookstore, and I found a book on sale that is called "Kalpana's Dream" by. Judith Clarke. Its about teenagers in Australia from India. It should be interesting!

I got home afterward, and my parents had a poker game planned for our family and a family we have been friends with for years. Long story short, the parents got divorced recently, and our family has remained friends with the father of the kids, ages 16 and 20. He loves to play poker, so about once a month or so, we end up getting together to play poker. Anyways, I am pretty good at poker. I am not AMAZING or anything, but I am good! I ended up coming in third in our first tournament, second in the second one, and second again in the third! I do pretty well. He, the family friend that loves poker, ALWAYS wins! I still had a great time! I had two glasses of wine, and it was funny because I was not so much tipsy as I was simply funny. I cracked jokes about everything! Yep! I love good ol' vino! hehe!

Can I just say how glad I am to have my brother back from Military school? The boy is amazing now! He is so nice and sweet!!! And his girlfriend and him have such a good realtionship...They just love each other. I really want to have a relationship like that some day. Although I know they are young and silly, both 16, I still envy what they do have and that is 'sweet innocence'.

Anyways, that is all I have for now. I will update this soon. Also, I am planning on doing a collage and scanning it and putting it up on here...Yeah! It should be cool. :) I will show you all when I get it done.

FISHING!!!

So, my father and I went fishing today. We had a great time. I actually met up with some friends and we had a BBQ, where I teased the two Korean girls about moving in together. They are straight, but neither can seem to find a guy that they like. Not only that, but they have just rented a one bedroom apartment together. This made teasing them about each other very fun. "So, you are getting a one bedroom? How are you two going to sleep?" They both blushed like mad!

We ended up going on the dock to fish, where we met up with these crazy teenagers who were attempting to fish. One of the boys was trying to cast and he ended up casting his pole into the lake. There were no fish biting, but my dad caught two very small ones that he released while he was in his mini-boat. His mini-boat is this blow up raft from the 80s. Darn thing is older than I am!

My friends son wanted to learn how to fish, (NOT the Korean girl...she doesn't have kids!) and so my dad taught him on a lure how to fish. He did a great job, but he almost hooked my ass a few times! He was having too much fun with it! But his mom took him home. I joked with her that I wanted to kidnap him because he was so cute! She told me since he is her oldest, 8, I can take him anywhere anytime! I was like "Sweet!"

My Korean friends, the girls, they want me to find them boyfriends. I always get close to guys, usually because they view me the same as they do a sister. So...I have told them I will see what I can do! :)

Well, I know this blog is short and sweet, but I will blog more later, when I get more to write about!

What Makes A Romance?

I have been thinking about this all day...What makes a romance? Does it take a man and a woman? Or can it be between two women or two men? Is it having a bride and a groom at a wedding, or can it be having two brides or two grooms?

I first questioned this when I was five years old. I remember asking my mother what was so wrong with two girls wanting to get married. Remember, this was 1993. People were appalled at this point because Roseanne Barr had kissed a girl on TV! My mothers answer was simple "that is inappropriate honey!" She told me. I never asked her about it again.

I remember thinking about how I wanted to be the prince that rescued the princess. I wanted to take care of her and be the main provider so to speak. I have never had a longing to be taken care of, although I do love to be cuddled when I am dating someone...and dinner getting paid for can be nice! lol.

I would never change my gender; I am a girl who likes girls...I am used to it! But in a wedding ceremony, I don't know if I would want to wear the dress or the suit or heck, we could both have dresses I guess! :) It doesn't matter to me! As long as we have love and the same morals and values and beliefs. And yes, I would convert for the love of my life! Not only would I convert, I would move!

I think that the one thing that makes a romance is love. Over the years, we have seen so many different kinds of romances. We have seen young couples "in love" (more like in lust if you ask me!) we have seen older people get back together over and over, (the late Farrah Fawcett and her on and off again boyfriend Ryan O'Niel) all kinds of relationships.

Its funny; they are all romantic in their own ways! With each one, people were placed in the right situation at the right time to meet each other and fall in love. All things worth having take time, and often, romances do too. It doesn't just happen overnight...You two get to know each other, grow together and then it happens! I mean, two people can look at each other and feel love and longing and know that they are meant to be, but you still have to get to know each other before you can spend a lifetime together.

How many of us have fallen for our best friend? That one girl that we met in kindergarten or elementary school, the one that we played with and hung out with our whole lives? I know that I fell for my best friend from jr. high and high school. I will never forget her! There was always that part of me that wanted her to love me too, that wanted her to be mine...all mine! But there was always that part of me that KNEW she would never fully be mine. I knew that one day she would get married to a man, and they would have children, and then grow old together, and a part of me got over her when I wrapped my head around that. I wanted her happyness, and I didn't want to lose her friendship! But another part of me does wish that I had gotten the courage to tell her how I felt, because honestly, I know she would have been up for experimenting!

I skipped that part of life; experimenting! I did have a few make out sessions with guys and my one amazing girl kiss, but nothing too spectacular! I guess I am too afraid of getting AIDS or pregnant. When BOTH of those are not factors, I am all for it and I will be more than glad to have SEX! Yep!!! Sex!!! Your blushing now...mwahaha!!! Or maybe not...lol. That word is funny. I am a virgin, and I am such a romantic...I just want to give myself to my future spouse completely...But...If someone and I were together long enough...Well...Who knows what would happen!

I hope you enjoyed that! lol.

My mother...lol

Okay! So...I just have to blog about my mother and how funny she has become to me over the years. I remember when I was young, like under 18, and she would embarrass the hell out of me, but now, she is probably one of the funniest people I have ever met.

First off, she cries in EVERY movie. When someone gets married, she cries. When someone dies, she cries. When there is a sweet moment, she cries! When there is a romantic moment, she cries! Yep! She cries in every movie!

Not only does she cry in movies, she cries in life. If one of us kids is leaving, even for summer camp which is like an hour away, she gets emotional over it! If we are graduating or if we win an award, she cries. Maybe she has finally hit menopause!

She holds on for dear life when me or my siblings are driving. Its the funniest thing ever, watching her holding on, her knuckles white, the handle of the door looking like its going to come off. I can't help but laugh at her. "Its fine mother...don't worry!" We all try to reassure her.

She gets addicted to TV shows. She plops down in the lazy-boy and begins watching everything from "Americas Next Top Model" to "CSI". She will get herself all addicted to them and then want me to look up *spoilers* for her! Its hilarious. I am like "mother, that is last season, here, I can just tell you who won!" to which she is like "Well...okay..."

She also forgets where she puts things all the time. She was putting away food the other day, and she accidentally put the garlic salt in the refrigerator. I was like "mother, are you feeling well?" and she insisted that she was fine. When she asked me why I told her and she was like "oh...I am getting old..." Another time, her glasses were on the top of her head and she was asking me where she put them...I swear, she would lose her head if it were not attached to her neck!

When she is drunk, she is CRAZY! She pulled the string to one of my sisters friends bikini's once and the girl had to catch it before she flashed the world. My sister was mortified as was her friend. She also thinks everything is hilarious when she is drunk...You can say anything, and she laughs. Her friends are really funny when they are drunk too. Once, they tried karaoke...OMG! I have never heard such horrid singing in my life. I had to cover my ears!

I love to scare her! I will pop out of corners of the house and be like "boo!" and she will go "Jesus!" Its really funny! Then I go "What does Jesus have to do with it?"

Another time, my sibs and I had captured a spider in a jar, and we put it in the shower when she had to get up and get ready for work...Hahaha! She ran around screaming trying to kill it. Yeah...We had fun!!!

Today, when she found out about who had died, she shouted "What!? Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett BOTH died?!" and everyone at work starred. Then her co-workers ran around talking about it. Hahaha!

Another time, her co-worker Tim called her to get a gallon of milk from the back area, and she reached out to grab the milk, and someone on the other end grabbed it too and also grabbed her wrist and she started screaming. We need a camera to follow her and tape her every move. America's Funniest Home Videos would love it!!!

And there you have it...My mother! She is one of the funniest people I know! She doesn't mean to be, she just is! I love her to death!!!

The Cinema...Attack of the 18 Year Olds!!!

Last night my sister, her on and off again boyfriend and I all went to see "Transformers 2". Yes, it is good! Hot girls, hot bikes, hot cars...definitely worth it!!!

But ANYWAYS!!! We arrived there two hours early, and since my sister was the driver, she insisted on dropping me off, leaving, getting her boyfriend, and coming back just in time for the film. Her annoying boyfriend didn't get off work until 11pm anyways, so I had to sit around the cinema for two hours waiting. Well, they let us in early, and I got really good seats. But...There were so many 18 year olds just out of high school there, it wasn't even funny!

Some of them knew who my sister was. I met them and we all talked for a little while before the movie. There were some girls to the right of me who had gone to a neighboring high school and I got the gay vibe from all of them. They were wearing those baggy silk basketball shorts and one was named Archie! (I assume its a nickname, but who knows!) It was lovely attempting to talk to them while they were texting. I don't know what compelled me to try to talk to them, perhaps it was the fact that my sister was taking FOREVER and I was BORED! We did NOT need to be that EARLY!!! But the seats were good.

Some hot blonde girls were sitting in front of us, and they were taking tons of pictures. "Oh! That is so going on my facebook!" One squealed as she looked at her pictures. They all giggled.

Right by them sat the geeky band students. "Dude!" One guy shouted. "The trombone, tuba, and flute are all white people instruments!" He, a white dude, was arguing with a black dude. "But the clarinet is almost always black!" The black guy argued. They all laughed at that. I got it...Clarinets are almost always painted black. An Indian guy that was in the group then argued that all instruments were Indian. It was funny to watch.

Behind me, the kids from a different school began talking about the oldest woman ever to give birth and how awkward that would be to be a 70 year old mom for the first time. They then talked about how people in the Bible were like 100 or something when they gave birth. It was hilarious to listen to.

Older people came in and saw how many seats were being reserved, and then the staff came in and ordered everyone to contact the people in their group to come and get their seats, because soon enough, the seats would all be taken. Old people ruin EVERYTHING! And no, I am NOT old yet! lol.

This experience took me back to high school. It reminded me of what life was like back then, that summer before we were all going to go off on our separate paths. Hanging out down by the beach, talking all night. I missed that. Parties...Oh the parties were so much fun!

For those of you that are still under 20, the best advice I can give you is to ENJOY YOUR LIFE! Once you are out of the teens, its not so much fun anymore. Responsibility is given to you and you are expected to act like an adult.

Keep smiling people!!! You all rock for reading my blog. :)

Appreciating the Little Things...

I graduated college today. I got my AA degree. It is only a two year degree, but boy am I proud. I am the first WOMAN ever to graduate from a college with a degree in my family. My mother got a certificate, but its not a degree.

I got up this morning and I had no idea what I was going to wear. I tried on tons and tons of outfits before finally settling on the only semi-formal thing I own: a very Ellen style outfit, with black slacks, and a white formal collard shirt...BORING! I seriously need to go shopping.

I arrived right on time and in my graduation cap and gown. They gave me my tassels and cords and stuff to adorn the gown and then I lined up with my class. My dear friend, the one I only just now noticed, was there. We were both so excited. I hopped up and down with excitement a few times and my hat fell off. She fixed it. She...Lovely she! Hehe.

I went up and got my diploma, and afterward, my family as well as one of my good friends, were waiting for me. We went to eat at the Chinese Buffet, which is one of my favorite places for dinner. I like the variety, and its not too expensive either.

This friend and I have grown apart over the years. We bore each other at times, but she does help me to appreciate the little things. Which is what the rest of this blog is going to be about. The little things in life...

Those memories that we all have, like hiking and fishing as children. I will remember those forever! Once, we camped at this site that had a swing that you could swing on over a lake. It was amazing! The water was also very clear. It was a great experience.

Friendship is another thing to appreciate. Friends may come and go, but a true friend is around forever. They are that person that you can call about ANYTHING and they will be there for you! In my lifetime, I have only really had a few of these, but I am so glad for them. I will never take them for granted.

Flowers...I appreciate flowers! lol. All nature! Nature is beautiful.

My parents, the fact that they even bothered to come to my graduation...I appreciate that! I loved seeing them. The fact that they are willing to support me until I get a good job or get married, I love that about them. :) I have a roof over my head and I really don't have a care in the world.

The fact that I got and education, both primary and secondary, is a total blessing! I appreciate that. The fact that my country is a free place, where I have the ability to speak my mind and not be judged. I appreciate that!

Never take anything within your life for granted! Each and every day, each and every moment, it is a gift. I am learning that now. Where once I took everything for granted, now I realize how precious even the little moments are. I am sure that this is hitting my mother now...I mean, to her, its like I was one year old and now I am all grown up! Time flew. And that is how life is. Time flies! And in the process, we need to appreciate the little things as well as the big things. My family did not get me anything for graduation, they just purchased dinner. But the best gift ever was the fact that they were there for me, there to see me graduate.

Adventures in Babysitting...

Babysitting...Ugh! I have had three experiences...Let me tell you about each of them. Ohhhh...And BTW: They were three different nationalities!

1) American. I walked into the house to watch the two kids, and I get a list. "Nathan cannot eat any of these things!" His mother informed me. Everything from cheese to milk to almonds to flavored water was on that list.

"What about Sarah?" I asked. "Can she eat?"

"Oh yeah! She has no allergies!" The mom replied. She wrote her number and I got to babysitting. I put on the cartoon "Anastasia" for them and they began to freak out at the villan, Rasputin, so I had to turn it off. After that, I turned on Barney and they sat and watched it until they got bored. Then, after they got bored, they started begging me for food. "But Nathan can't eat anything." I told Sarah.

"He can eat some things." She replied.

"Can you show me what he can eat so he doesn't have an allergic reaction?" I asked. I had to be so careful with him. She told me he could have toast and jam and so I made him that. Thankfully the parents came back and I handed off that family to my sister, who had just turned 13. She is much better with allergic reactions...I mean kids...than me!

2) German kids!!! OMG! Awesome kids!!! Their mom tells me they can eat ANYTHING and that they like video games and movies. I am psyched to watch them. We get to playing gameboys and on the computer and watching movies and stuff. Then they play with toys.

But...The two youngest end up breaking a toy train and they start to cry. I don't know what to do, so I turn on "The Sound of Music". The two youngest sit down and watch it right away, while the oldest plays his gameboy. It gets easier from there. They are amazing! The mom gets home and they have all gone to bed. I have cleaned the house and all is good.

3) Indian kids. WOOHOO!!! Now they were fun. I got to watch them twice. The first time, I learned a lot. The mom and dad were in a hurry. She was pregnant with baby number three, and the two kids I was watching were occupied with some Hindi movie. It was about 4pm or so. The mom told me when they got hungry that they would open the fridge and eat.

So...An hour or so later, they get hungry. "okay...there is food in the fridge..." I tell them.

"But I want McDonalds!" The boy shouts.

"Well..." I don't know what to say or do. "Your mom said we should eat the food in the fridge."

A few words in Hindi to each other, and they gang up on me. "McDonalds! McDonalds!" Both kids begin shouting. I am left with no choice. Since the town house is right by McDonalds, we take a trip there. They order hamburgers and fries and I am suddenly broke.

We arrive back at the town house, (I had a key...) and they both don't feel good. "Oh no!" I am thinking. Were they allergic to something? What went wrong?

The parents arrive home, and I have to tell them why the children are sick. "They insisted on going to McDonalds. I told them that you said that we should eat what was in the fridge, but they kept shouting McDonalds over and over..."

The moms eyes get wide. "They have never had beef in their life..." She begins. The dad freaks out on the children, who by this point realize what they have done wrong.

"I am really sorry...I had no idea..." I begin.

"Its not your fault. Now you know. And they should have known better!" She glares at the kids, who both look at her wide eyed. They know they are going to be in big trouble once I am gone.

I get invited back a few months later, after the baby is born, and this is what the mom tells me this time.

"So, they fight sometimes now. She will watch TV, he will play outside, its all good. But when they fight, just let them. Its normal. Don't call me unless they break bones or something. No McDonalds!" She explained.

I nod. "Sounds good!" I replied. And so, it went a lot better that time. They were older. She took the baby with her because he was so little.

The boy teased his sister about her singing. She was singing some song to the TV. I couldn't understand half of what was said at that house...lol. They flung their food around the kitchen...Curry is hard to clean up! But overall, they were fun and good and honestly, they could have been way worse! At least I didn't have a repeat of the time before!

So...Those are my adventures in babysitting!!!

Randomness...

What is it about love that causes people to do crazy things? Currently, I am longing for someone. But...I am going to tell you the story of my first ever college girl-crush.

It was my first week of college, and already I had made a ton of friends. We were sitting around eating, when I spotted a lovely young lady sitting at a table near the cafeteria and eating her lunch. She was sitting so properly, and her hair was tied back so nice and perfect. Her skin was not too light or too dark, just this nice mocha shade.

She had the look of someone that did not like to have friends; someone that needed the walls around her heart to be broken down. I wondered why and how those walls had come to be, and I wanted to know more. I finished my food quickly and got up and approached her.

I introduced myself and she introduced herself. We hit it off right away. I still remember her outfit; a turtle-neck sweater and jeans. We became so close after that. But...Things went downhill after we were friends for a year, and I won't say anymore because if she ever does find this, she will absolutely kill me.

People change...Times change...We don't all always stay the same. But we as people have been given a gift that no other species has been given: we are given the gift of love! I do not regret having fall in love with her, and believe me, I was in love! I would have done anything for her! I am indeed the ultimate hopeless romantic.

That said, I am going to tell you my idea of a perfect date in my area. I mean, as long as I can carry on a good conversation with her, I guess its perfect! But...here it goes.

First, let's start with dinner. If your in my area, which is Seattle, and its Summer and hot out, I would probably take you to downtown Kirkland, where we have a lot of lovely restaurants to choose from. Then, I would want to take you for a walk down by the beach. The wind in our hair, perhaps our hands linked, and then, we could go back to either my place or yours and have some wine and relax.

Perfect WINTER date would be in a little town we have here called Leavenworth. Its a Bavarian village. When its covered in snow, it gorgeous...But not as gorgeous as you are Darling! ;) They have every kind of shop imaginable there. They have sleigh rides and carolers and beautiful hotel rooms that are usually decorated for the holidays. They have a giant tree in the middle, and its all lit up and pretty. We could go there and enjoy a sleigh ride, where I grab your hand and we cuddle a bit. Then, we will get off at a lovely restaurant called "King Ludwigs", where we will enjoy a Bavarian style meal. After that, back to the hotel(your choice if we have separate rooms or not...). The next day, we can enjoy some skiing/snowboarding up in the mountains. On the ski lift, we will enjoy some time together, and while skiing/snowboarding, you will laugh at how bad I am! After that, we can enjoy some hot coco.

What do you think???

My friends...First noticing...Lots of details...lol

I remember it was about two weeks ago that I realized that I was starting to notice my best friend. Honestly, I had never noticed her before. Sure, the guys had been talking about how hot she was, but it wasn't until she walked into our art class wearing this white tank top and jean bell bottoms complete with Jesus sandals that I really noticed her.

My heart leapt into my throat and I was taken aback. She had put some brown highlights into her jet black hair and her sunglasses, Chanel of course, covered her lovely ice blue eyes. "I need you..." she grabbed my arm and led me outside. "I want to take some pictures for my myspace." She informed me. She removed her sunglasses and put them into her giant purse and continued to lead me outside. "Oh its such a nice day!" She shouted. I was speechless.

She had changed, and I was falling for her. She posed in her usual manner all over the school, and I remember thinking how I just wanted to take her into my arms and kiss her. She was so beautiful, and the way the light hit her, it was so hard not to be attracted to her. I know she didn't mean to make me feel like that, but it was just a reaction.

On the bus later that day, she informed me of how she liked a boy in her class. "He is so cute!" She stated in a very Audrey Hepburn in "Breakfast at Tiffani's" style. She kept looking at me then out the window of the bus. We all use the bus and/or park-and-ride in my group of friends. "Seriously...His one flaw is that he has a girlfriend." I nodded and smiled at her. She told me his name and then informed me that he was "nothing special appearance wise, just a typical American guy."

This is so normal for her. She loves to tell me all about the men/boys she likes. I don't know what to call the opposite gender in our age group. 18-29 year old males are certainly not men...they are immature and silly and only think about sex all day long! I don't mind hearing about her boys, afterall, it does give me time with her.

One of our good friends who is a guy really likes her. He has been in love with her since they met. I love to make sure she sits next to the window on the bus and I sit next to her, that way, he can't sit next to her. It pisses him off. I hate it when she wants to sit in the back of the bus, because there is so much room for guys to come and join. Those little alone moments between us...I swear I could just hold onto them forever!

But...She is straight! I will never have her! Oh well...

We had presentations recently in school, and she wore this amazing dress. You could see her back in it, and she asked me what I thought. "You look beautiful! You will do great." I encouraged her the way a best friend should. And I was being totally honest too...she did look GREAT! She smiled. "Thanks." She looked a bit shy, which is so attractive, and she asked me if the back of her dress was zipped all the way. "Yes it is." I smiled, coming close enough that I could see her back really clearly. I could see every bump, every little mark, all of it. I had an urge to kiss it, but she didn't notice that urge and I held back...thank God. She walked out the door, her heels clanking against the cold marble floor of the bathroom floor and I could still feel her presence just outside the door. I looked in the mirror and closed my eyes for a second. Why me? Why was this happening to me? "Keep composure..." I thought to myself.

The moment of my presentation came, and I was nervous! I was so nervous that it only took me like 3 of the 5 minutes we were given to present. When it was her turn, she took the full 5 minutes and explained way better than I did about each of her slides. I should have gone slower, but...Oh well! Can't go back and change anything. She went and changed her shoes from the stilettos she was wearing to a pair of average tennis shoes that totally did not match the dress. However, even when mis-matched, she looked lovely. We caught the bus together and we met up with the ever flirty friends who are her fanclub and have always been friends of mine. Honestly, I am not jealous that she has a fanclub, but I do admit to wanting her all to myself at times. But then, I worry that I will say/do something stupid when I am alone with her.

There have been moments when we were alone, like when we were studying, and she will be leaning over the computer or a book, and I will just want to push that strand of long hair behind her ear and lean in and kiss her. But it is in those moments that I realize that it would ruin our friendship if I did such a thing. So I hold back and just smile. At times, she does catch me starring and/or smiling, and I just tell her that she is awesome or beautiful or something! She thanks me and we get back to whatever we were doing.

The first time this longing ever happened with a girl, I remember it very clearly. I was in my first year of college, and she was older than I was and attending a different school. My mother had told me I should invite her to church with us, and when I did, she agreed to come. I was excited. This girl and I had become fairly good friends. Anyway, we got to my house after church, and we were in my room, and she looked at me and said "you look really nice today."

"Thank you." I replied, shyly looking down. "You look beautiful too." I looked up and into her lovely aquamarine colored eyes. We began inching towards eachother, both of us understanding that we wanted to take that moment to kiss, when my mother shouted for me. I sighed and my friend laughed. We never had another really strange moment, although for my birthday, which was held at a hotel, she did lean back onto her bed, grab some ice, and ask me if I wanted to sleep with her. Since my mother was there "supervising" I decided that no...That would not be a good idea! However, if mother had not been there, God only knows what could have happened!

My best friend from high school is getting married in two months. She is also very attractive. I have very attractive friends. But the thing about this girl, is that she is totally amazing and doesn't mean to be! She just...IS! She does not have a mean bone in her body and she smells like a seabreeze...But I was never "in-love" with her. I always felt like we were sisters. We always joked that were like "Sense and Sensibility", the Jane Austen book. I was always the one that got married to the old dude in the end...sadly! (Kate Winslet in the film). She was always the Emma Thompson...Waiting for her one true love. We were crazy back in high school. I always laugh a ton when I talk to this girl. We can talk for hours and hours and just laugh! She is soooo funny. I tell her she will one day become a saint...She is sweet, kind, caring, perfect! Part of me wants to hold onto her so tight and not let her get married and move far away, but another part of me is is so happy for her! I know I have zero say in her lovelife, and I respect any decision she makes!

Appearance wise, she is tall, almost 6 feet, and she has wavy hair just past the shoulder. Her head is shaped very Gisele style, but her facial features are not at all like hers. Her eyes are multi-colored, her lips are a perfect red like two rose-buds, and her nose, although very pointy, matches her face very well. She loves babies, surprises and romance novels. Every guys dream girl is what she is. But if this guy she is engaged to ever cheats on her...Oh GOD! I would hate to see what happens...She does have a temper, and I have seen it! Because it comes out so rarely, its BAD.

This best friend has a brother, and her brother is sooooo effing hot...he would be so PERFECT for my friend who I currently have a little crush on. I want them to meet somehow...I need to come up with a random way...They both need to think that it was RANDOM and UNPLANNED...Anyways!!!

So there you have it! My friends...I hope you enjoyed!!!

Things to say to annoying religious door-knockers...

I have been thinking of funny responses to those annoying door-knockers who are from different Christian affiliations. Here is what I have come up with, along with my friend Steph! ;) Thanks Steph! If you have any to add to this, please lemme know!

To the question "Have you found Jesus yet?"

Shout "RUN JESUS, they've COME FOR YOU!!!"

"Jesus? Are you sure you lost him here?"

"I didn't know he was missing...but I can alert the police!"

"Oh yes! I am having tea with him right now. Would you like to come in and join us?"

Responses to "We will be praying for you!" or "Your going to hell..."

"Thanks! Can you pray for Ellen DeGeneres to go to hell too, so I can have a laugh?"

"Well...Hell is certainly going to be a party if I am there! Since your a Christian...Your not invited!"

OFF TOPIC STUFF...

Girl at school...Straight...Too hot to handle...And I always say the wrong thing...Its true! I do!!! I have said so many wrong, offensive, embarrassing and very bold things to her...Its not even funny! I used to NOT be attracted to her, but something in her has changed...Something in me has changed...I don't like it!!! I don't wanna be into her!!! No more!!! *shuts off interest like a light switch* I need to stop because she is STRAIGHT...No more liking her!!! Its not allowed and I need to be respectful of the fact that she is straight. Also, I value her friendship...But damn she is hot! lol. Anyways...Vented.

I saw "The Proposal" today. Its a good straight comedy...There were ZERO gay ppl in it. If you want to see it and laugh your ass off, GO FOR IT! I loved it.

Well, that is it for now! I need more topics...Please give me ideas people!!! Thanks!!! ;)

Family and some advice from personal experience...

Well...Lately, my family has been teasing me lately for my staying up all night chatting with friends I have made on AE. "You got a new boyfriend?" my 18 year old sister asked me the other day, as I made my way through the kitchen with some juice. I just smiled and said "maybe!"

"That means yes!" She replied, smiling about it. She thinks she knows everything, and being my 'hot younger sister', she does have a little idea of what is happening. She tried to get me to date this guy, who she deemed "perfect for me", and it went terribly wrong! I guess that is what I get for not being out to the family.

My mother assumes I have someone online too, and I guess AE is a someone. I also have tons of friends on there, so, I am building my support system so to speak. When I do finally come out to family, I am going to need to talk about it to some people, and my support is on there! Thank you to my AE friends!!!

But by no means have I been hiding my sexuality either. "Man! Motorcycles are hot!" I said in the car the other day. Mother just nodded and kept on driving. Perhaps she was too tired or maybe she just didn't care, I don't know, but she just nodded, and that is so not a normal response from her.

And then there is the fact that lately, since EVERYONE is "coming out", my mom seems to think that if any of us kids do, it must be a faze! I am like "how can I tell her and get her to understand that I am serious?!"

It has been a fashion among the ladies especially. "I kissed my best friend...I must be gay! Hehe!" That is the latest thought among girls. No...Haven't you ever seen 'Cruel Intentions'? You need to practice on your friends! ;)

Not only is it the latest fashion among women, but girls don't realize what comes with it. I fully understand that if I get a girlfriend, I am expected to have a certain kind of sex with her, a kind that is different from what I would have with a guy. I am not scared, it does not gross me out, I get it! But I have to wonder how many of the "new lesbians" understand that not only is a romance about someones personality, its also about sex! They think that because their last boyfriend bored them to tears a girl can fix that; that she will be perfect for them and all that because she is not a guy...but they don't understand that it is a bit more complex than that.

I am tired of the fashion. While the latest newly out girls are physically hot, they are also total idiots half the time. "I like...went tanning...and...yahhh..." valley types! I don't want to date that! Although they do make good arm ornaments...lol. Trophy girlfriends...hehe! I want someone I can talk with about all sorts of things, and by the time we do want to have sex, we will know a lot about each other and we will be ready and it will be fan-freakin-tastic!

And there is one bit of advice I would like to give all of you questioning women out there: Try out both before you decide you are gay! It is OKAY to have girls that are your friend and you feel attracted to them. Its normal for girls to admire each others beauty...One can look at another girl and be like "she is beautiful." and it is a fact and an admiration and it does not mean you wanna do her and are gay. Don't go jumping to conclusions. Try everything first. I made out with a girl and I knew I liked it better than the last guy kiss I had, dated a guy, hated it, will never do it again...it took time and experiences for me to realize that I was gay. Not only that, but at five I was gay...I have known my whole life!

I have a very straight male friend, and he and I were looking at pictures on the internet of models. A good looking male model came up and I said "what do you think?" and I was actually being serious. He said "He is a good looking guy" and I was impressed. The first thing he said was "I am straight and I am comfortable to enough to admit when another man is good looking."

We as women need to see that as well. Before you go running off thinking you are gay, analyze a bit. Think "Is she just attractive, or is there something more I am feeling?" If you are feeling more, then you are possibly gay/bi and should investigate further. But if you just find her attractive and thats it, then...Your average! Even my very straight sister can admit when her friends are good looking and attractive. "Yeah, she looked hot!" My sister said about her friend at a recent school dance. Its normal.

I just want this fashion to fade, because for me, it is absolultely about the PERSON and not about the gender. Yes, I am def. lesbian more than straight, but...I call myself a 70/30. It is more likely that I will like a girl, but is a PERFECT guy came, I would fall for him...I admit it! So...I don't know if that makes me gay or bi...I consider myself a lesbian for the most part...but bi is also accepted.

So...There you have it. A bit more serious post with some funnies for sure! :) I need ideas people! Once you have read this, please tell me what to write about next!!!

Really?! Men...*rolling eyes*

Men! I remember now why I no longer like them. Today, while I was eating lunch, one of my friends and I had to suffer through a lovely conversation about how women "expire" after 35 or so. I think the man found it quite amusing, but I hated it...

Every inch of me wanted to shout at him that men do too! That the older they get, the fewer erections they have and that at least I don't need viagra! But no...I kept composure!!!

From wanting to be macho to needing attention 24/7, men are way harder to take care of than women. While they would beg to differ, take into consideration the fact that men are babies! My father had his wisdom teeth pulled about ten years ago, and I remember him whining like crazy at my mom to make him food and get his pain pills all set up. When my mom had hers taken out, it was no big deal! Dad was in bed for a week.

And if they don't have their one day with the guys a week, they usually get into a crappy mood fast. I remember an ex of mine who loved to take Fridays and just hang with the guys. While it was nice and everything, I remember being like "hmmm...I wonder what he is doing?" I found out that he was playing video games, but...They can play video games for day and weeks and hours!!! AHHHH!!! I tried to call him once, and he was like "I am in a Halo turnee" I was like "Huh?"

I have never understood this mentality that they have! Addiction to video games, constant whining about pain, oh...and lets not forget sports!!! The need and urge to be "macho!"...UGH! I hate sports!!! Soccer, tennis, softball and volleyball are what I can play, and I like to watch those all on TV, but as for guys and their sports...I hate FOOTBALL!!! I hate it!!! I hate watching a bunch of guys in really tight pants run around and try to beat each other up. I don't see the point in it! I guess the point is to get the ball across the line...or something...No point! lol.

And then, once you start to get serious, like "oh, let's get married" serious, they freak out!!! "uhhh...no...I don't think so...uhhhh..." that was what my ex said. Oh, and he also said "m-m-marriage?!" hahaha! And they wonder why we are starting to like them less and less...

So...After all of this...Do I even have an inkling of an attraction to men left in me? I don't think so! And some girl I was talking to shouted into her phone to her boyfriend that I was "gay!" today...It made me a lil upset, but I will get over it!

My interpertation of the Bible...Hilarious!

Where did God come from? And what makes God a man? How do we know God isn't a she or an it? A Christian would say that God is...God always has been and always will be. But how do we know? Have you ever had a true conversation with God? One where the two of you sat down and chatted? I have never seen God, but I do have faith that there is something greater than myself.

God is what people need to believe in. We need to think that there is something greater than us that made us; that made everything around us. We need that stability and that explanation for things. Things need to have a reason for existing in the mind of us people. Otherwise, we often lose our drive and our will.

But when it comes down to it, people have certainly changed since we first came into existence. Our bodies and minds have changed. Did we come from apes? I don't think so; I think we came from a hairy cave man type, but certainly not apes. And I don't know if it was God that created us or if we just popped up, but I do have faith in something greater than myself...I am only human after all.

But here is an idea on where God came from:

Back when people first began, there was no story about where we came from. A child asked her mother before bed: "mother, where did people come from?" and the mother replied "well darling, we were created by something."

"But what?" The girl asked. "What created us?"

"Well, God did." The mother replied.

"Who is God?" The girl asked, curious as any child would be.

"Well...God is...God!" The mom replied. "And God made everything."

And so the little girl was left to ponder. And when she grew up and had children, she told them the story of God like her mom had told her. And one of those boys wanted to be the first man, even though he was not. He was clever really. His name was Adam. He sat down one day and took out a paper and wrote down, in a language that his wife Eve had taught him, all about God. And Eve and him had children and those children had children. One of their Grandchildren was named Noah. Noah was bored one day and decided to build an ark. He had been reading the "Farmers Almanac" and it had told him there was going to be a flood. No one listened to him when he tried to warn them, and that was okay with him, as long as his family was okay! And the flood was bigger than anything the world had ever seen. The whole world flooded. They didn't know who to blame for the flood, so they blamed God. And it was now up to Noah to populate the whole world...And he manages to! Man! Thats a lot of sex!!! Or so we think...We don't REALLY know...But anyways...In the Jewish community, one of his descendants, Abraham, is viewed like a rock star! The man is seen as being up there with God! He is just that cool. And eventually, he causes a war that will last until present day! He decides "look, my wife, who is also my cousin, she can't get knocked up! There is something wrong..." and so he goes and sleeps with Hagar, his wife's maid. His wife knows about this, she is the one that told him to. And Hagar gets pregnant with Ishamel. Well, not too long after that, his wife, whose name is Sarah, gets pregnant, and she is lik 100 something years old...ewww...and she has a son named Isaac. And she tell Abraham "look, I don't like your kid Ishmael! Send them away!" and so, because we all know women rule their husbands, he listens to her and sends away Hagar and Ishmael. But supposidely, depending on the book you read, they get visited by an Angel who tells them "yeah...so...your gonna be great nation, you will always be bigger than Isaac in number and you will always be at war with him!" They were given instructions on where to go and they went there. And that is actually what happened. Ishmael is the father of the Muslims and Isaac is the father of the Jews. They fight til this day! And its like "Seriously! Your cousins and have more in common than you could imagine! WTF?!" But noooo....Stubborn people!

Isaac had a son named Jacob, and Jacob had a son named Moses. And Moses was raised by Pharoah's daughter because Pharoah was killing Jewish boys and his mother, Yohebid, put him in a basket and floated him down the Nile. No one knows what era that was really, but Moses was one of those dudes who was like "I don't know who I am...I need to start a journey of self discovery!" So he ditched Egypt one day and headed out as far away as possible. And he found the Midianites out in the dezert, and he married a chick named Zapporah! And they did it a few times and had babies. And then one day, Moses was out being a Shepherd and he saw a burning bush. But it turned out to be God! And God said "Moses, go back and free the Jews, your people, from Pharoah!" and Moses was like "Dude! I cant...I have stage fright!" and God was like "I am with you..."

So Moses goes and takes his family to Egypt. And he sees Pharoah, who is also his adoptive cousin, and they are like "whats up cuz?!" and shake and what not. But then Moses is like "look...I need you to please free the Jews!" And Pharoah is like "Dude...no!" So Moses is like "Okay...Prepare to feel the pain." And a battle ensues. Fire came down from the sky and stuff. And then, Passover came. And all the Jews knew what to do. But Pharoah lost his oldest son. And Pharoah had a break down and freed the Jews. But he regretted doing it. And so, he went after them. But as he hit the Red Sea, he got stuck and drowned. And the Jews were finally free! But now what?

Well, Moses came up with the ten commandments. They are basically common sense. Its good to know he had some. And after that, there were all these battles. There is also the story of Sampson and Delilah. Sampson got his hair chopped off by Delilah. He lost his strength. Whatever...he's a dude! Delilah was hot..Or so I heard! Anyways...There was also David, and he slew Goliath. This kid was like..."I have ADHD!!! I need to release my energy!" And so, the armies were like "Well, what can it hurt to give him a slingshot to play with?" And so, when the Philistines brought out Goliath, David was like "Dude! I am gonna get you!" and he did! And the Jews were like "Nice! We won!" As the Philistines retreated in fear of this lil ADHD kid.

And eventually, Jesus is born! But how can a virgin have a kid you ask? Well, God knocked her up...But there are all these possibilites that no one ever mentions. For example...there were tons of poppies in the Middle East at that point, she could have been high and not remembered having sex! Or...She could have gotten raped by a Roman soldier, they did that a lot to the Jewish women. And rape was not considered sex, so when her family called her out on "have you had sex Mary?" she could have said no and she would not have lied! So anyways...There can be logic applied! But anyways, Jesus came and he was like "Dude...I'm perfect! I am going to die someday to free peoples souls and to be the light of the world...but until then...I am going to be a carpenter!" And he was. I will say nothing bad about him because I love him...No matter if he was the son of God or not!

There it is! The Bible in a funny lil nutshell. Was it written about men by men? Yah! Is it all true? I have no idea! Do I follow it? Not really...But I don't kill people or steal things so...I guess I am good! :)

My first straight kiss...

I still remember the day like it was yesterday. I had found this beautiful sparkly purple gown for homecoming in tenth grade. I remember fancying myself up to look perfect for that night. My mother and her friends all helped and I knew, that was going to shine, and that something special was going to happen as well.

I arrived at the dance, and all of my friends were in shock. They could not believe it was me. I was wearing really uncomfortable contacts and high heels, but I looked good. That was all that mattered.

The lights were dim and this Kurt Cobain look alike steps out of nowhere. I remember thinking "wow, he is really good looking." He turned out to be an old friend from jr. high who had moved when we went off to high school. We talked for a few minutes before I got all dreamy and girlie about him.

"Would you like to dance?" I asked him.

"Why not?" He replied. And we headed out on the dance floor. I could feel his breath against my neck and shoulders. I was going insane, something in me started flowing...I don't know what! I was sixteen mind you, and I had no idea about love or lust or any of it.

I looked him in the eyes once the song was over and I said "I think we should..." and our faces inched together until we were full on kissing. I remember not being impressed and not being unimpressed, I was just neutral about it. But I giggled a lot afterward.

I called my friend, the one I was also crushing on at the time, the girl with the black hair from Geography class, and I told her. She was happy for me and wanted details. That is it!

A Gay Kid...

I was a gay kid. I remember those days. My family wasn't exactly rich, in fact, we were poor for a long time. Being white and living in America during that era, (the late 1980s and early 1990s) you would think my life would have been nice. But nooooo...We lived in a crappy neighborhood and also lived paycheck to paycheck. My dad did hard manual labor and my mom stayed at home with us kids. It was pretty classic actually.

I remember playing barbies with my friends, and it never went well. I always tried to throw Ken away and make my barbies marry each other instead of Ken. That did not please my mother very much. Not only that, I loved action figures. My cousins always sent their clothes to us, and they were all boys. I always wore boy clothes because of that. I loved legos and being outside too. I was a boy in just about every way.

I remember getting mistaken for one quite frequently after I got a really short haircut. I tried to play that up, but it didn't work. I believe that is when my love for girls truly emerged.

When I was going into second grade, we moved to a bigger house, and I remember getting to my new school. All the girls had crushes on certain boys, but not me. It was awkward for me because I just didn't fit in. Also, I didn't take a liking to any of the girls in my class because none of them were foreign or unique. They were all American...All the same as me nationality wise and not that interesting.

I remember thinking it was way better than my old school, and yet, I hated it there too. Basically, recess was spent climbing trees and avoiding everyone! I didn't want to chase boys or any of that. When we would get a foreign kid, I would attach myself to them. lol.

And that was life. There are times when I have wanted to go back and play "properly", but then I think "no, that would not be being myself." I like how now that I am older, I am me...I don't try to be what I am not anymore. When I was a kid though, I did. I even tried crushes on boys, and they were fake. I wrote about them in my diary and let my mom read my diary because I wanted to seem "normal".

Yep! That was my childhood. I was a gay kid.

My day today...

I wake up and the first thing I do is head for the computer. Most people wake up and they shower, or go to the gym, and I do indeed walk the 1/2 mile to the bus stop after chatting, but I chat first. The reason that I wake up early to chat is because my group, "The Breakfast Club" or "The Threesome" or "The Threeway," as I call them, all live in a foreign country and they are awake then. We talk about all the most random things imaginable. From our hatred of spiders, to our love of one another as friends.

However, being three bisexual women, we do tend to flirt a lot. The flirting never stops. Our group consists of, and these are not actual names, they are more like first letters of names: A, a very sweet little lady who is studying hard to get her degree in law and P, who is currently working. A and P live in the same area, they are only an hour away from each other. I am C. :)

I wish we all lived in the same area and could meet sometime, but we don't. Heck, they still have yet to meet each other. So, as I am sitting at the computer early in the morning, my hair its usual crazy mess after waking up and my mind completely focused on the chat, I suddenly realize that I really...desperately...want someone! haha! I am desperate. And not for an internet lover, oh no! If I wanted one of those I would join e-harmony or some stupid dating site. I want someone I can meet, who can feel me and I can feel them physically. Perhaps that is why religion is something that I have never really understood and yet found so fascinating. How can you love what you cannot feel physically? I guess I am just a physical person.

I suddenly am curious to know why my two lovely friends haven't met up with each other. They live and hour away from one another, get along great, and they COULD meet, but they have not. What I wouldn't give to be in a relationship. I know...I am only 20, almost 21...I have my whole life ahead of me...blah...blah...I have heard that speech so many times, but these are the years when I should be out experimenting, out having fun and dating. I have spent my whole life being good and studying my butt off at school...Its time for me to come into my own.

My friends and I continue our chat, we joke and play a ton. "Your eyes are so beautiful P!" I tell my friend P. "Awwww...Thanks!" She sends back, using a smilie that is batting its eyelashes. "C loves flirting!" Announces A. "Indeed I do!" I reply. And the chat continues on like that for some time, us all joking constantly.

At some point, I have to get ready for my long day at school, and so I do. I do my usual routine of getting ready and then more than anything wish for more time to chat with them! I don't have any bi female friends at school, but I do have my dear friend M, who is a gay male. My day goes by rather quickly, as I edit my short 5 minute movie in film editing class and decide to locate M and invite him to lunch. He readily agrees and we are off. But not before I stop and flirt with a hot Indian girl on our way out to the bus. (she was straight and married dammit!) Then, M and I skip out the door looking like the gayest two kids you ever did see.

Arriving at the bus stop, I see my good friend Monica. She has to be one of the funniest people I have ever met. She is also adorable, but I don't have a crush on her or anything. M and I joke with her too, and we decide to play the "tampon" game. Its where you take the name of a movie and insert the word "tampon" for one of the letters. "Slumdog Tampon" or "Tampon Millionaire" are two examples. We laugh and laugh as we play this game. Monica asks what types of guys and girls I like and I tell her. "Manly men and feminine women!" I reply. "And as for trannies, the only trannies in their life better be either their automatic or manual cars!" She laughs uncontrollably at that and we continue out conversation. She asks me if I like motorcycles and I tell her that they are definately a turn on for me. The bus comes and the three of us get on. By this point, Monica and I are joking in a British/Aussie style accent.

M and I get to the Chinese restaurant that we like and we get our usual meals. Everything goes well and we gossip about people at school. M is one of those gay boys that likes to avoid the stereotypes that gay men have. He has his left ear pierced rather than his right and he doesn't really sound too gay, but he does wave his hands a bit much!

During lunch, I tell M that with a new pair of glasses, I should be more outgoing. I have had the same pair for a long time now, and it is so time for a new pair! He agrees with me and I decide that soon, I am so going to get a pair! It is time.

We miss our bus and both of us get really disappointed. He is now going to be late to work, but its okay! We talk a bit more at the bus stop, catch another bus, and I assume he makes it to work fine.

That was my day! It started and ended very well. :)

My first ever girl crush...And other stories.

Well, one could say that I had TWO really...lol.

I still remember the first. I was five or six and in kindergarten...her name was Ramya and she was from India. She smelled like soap and incense and she had these HUGE brown eyes. We played on the playground and she was just learning English. I thought she was the cutest thing. lol. We moved shortly after that, but I still remember thinking that she was adorable and wanting to kiss her. I never did though!

My first REAL crush on a girl was when I was in 9th grade. I remember sitting in geography class and I remember thinking how boring it was. Mr.W was going on and on about China again, and I had zoned out as usual. I remember this wonderful scent coming upon the room and then I heard these high heeled shoes enter. She walked right up to the teacher, head down, shoulder length black hair hanging in her face, and handed him her pink-slip which stated that she was new to our class. Everyone looked at her for about a second before zoning out again, but not me. I couldn't pry my eyes away from the beautiful creature that had just entered the room. "Welcome..." he mumbled and then pointed to a few empty seats in the class that she could sit at. When he finally shut up, I introduced myself to that girl. I remember thinking that I wanted to poune on her and do...well...yeah! She smelled so good too. I later found out that it was "Tommy Girl" that made her smell so good. She had such great fashion sense too. She taught me about sex by telling me all the things my mother never told me. My mother would say "its when a man and a woman lie together, with no clothing on, and they have intercourse." but my new friend would say "well, he is going to first have to get aroused..." and she would go into great details. I was so happy to have someone who would tell me all of these things, even if I didn't REALLY care. Although, like any typical teenager, I did want to experiment. I remember when she broke up with this one guy, who I knew was a horny boy, I took full advantage of that situation. We were in 10th grade I believe, and he was going to be moving to Chicago. She and I were in some fight, but I remember taking this guy and getting him to teach me how to kiss. I had been kissed a few times, but never for REAL. He taught me a lot. I will always be greatful to him for that. And after we all graduated, we all went our separate ways. She went on to get a college degree of some sort and is now married. We rarely speak, but when we do, we reminisce about the past. The movie of the year was "Cruel Intentions". "Sex And The City" had just gotten BIG as well as Mr. Big...We would talk about it all night. I remember laughing while being slightly drunk and we would try to have conversations like that. Good times. Once it is all gone, all you have left are the memories. We never did kiss, although we did dance in her kitchen once.

My first girl kiss came when I was in grade 11. I remember it was at a party with a lot of friends. My friend S, a guy, had a giant crush on my friend N, a girl. I remember being pissed about it because N was my BEST friend at the time, and I thought she was WAY TOO GOOD FOR S! (she so was!) Anyway, S suggested playing "spin-the-bottle" so he could at least try to kiss N. She had agreed and so we all played. I remember at the time, just to fit in, I pretended to like N's younger brother D...it was an act, although he was really hot and for a short time, I thought I was in love with him. Well, the exchange student, who was a girl and was totally drunk, spun the bottle and it landed on me. I remember my pulse went up wayyy high as a bunch of guys started clapping and shouting "do it! do it!" to us. So, I got up all the courage I had, stood up, and walked over to the beautiful exchange student who greatly resembled Celine Dion. I leant down and gave her a kiss, and all the guys cheered. I could feel her soft lips against mine, and I didn't really want it to end, but as she gently took my bottom lip in hers and then stopped, she gave a little laugh and leaned backwards. "I think everyone enjoyed that..." she said, her voice a bit groggy. The guys laughed and wanted us to kiss again, but it was now my turn to spin the bottle. It landed on a guy and the moment had gone as quickly as it had come. On the ride home, she and I cuddled in the back seat of the car. I remember thinking of how the kiss had strengthened our bond. It really had. Sadly, she had to go back to her home and I belive I became but a memory to her...But she will always be in my thoughts! :)

Thanks for reading!

Your the hottest thing I've seen since the sun...

That is a new pickup line that I have thought of. I don't know if I will ever use it or not, but I might try! Supposedly, rumor has it, there is a hot girl at the gym at school. I really need to get there and flirt with her. We might make a perfect match. :) In other news: Anyone with a name that starts with a P who marries anyone named Megan, your kids are gonna be Pagans! Haha! So...Politics! I can't believe what is going on in North Korea. I wonder why South Korea doesn't just invade them and take over.

My mother is one of the sappiest people I have ever met. She cries in Hallmark movies, she cries in Lifetime movies, she even cries in movies she has already seen. If someone dies, she cries! If two people fall in love, she cries! But the romance must be straight of course...if its a gay couple, she grosses out! I will be sitting there, totally getting all romantic about a gay couple, and then my mother will go "ewww...that is just wrong!" Suddenly, the moment is ruined. I can't believe how different that generation is from ours. Both my parents smoke and they both are homophobic. Not only that, they are stuck in the 1970s. "Why is gas so much?" My mother complains. "When I was a kid, it only costs 75 cents a gallon!" They are starting to sound old. But somehow, after being married FOREVER, they no longer threaten to divorce each other at the smallest thing. Instead, they get along better than ever.

Today is the day of my sister's graduation from high school. Its not like she is giving a speech or anything, so I don't feel all that compelled to go. I hate big crowds and stadiums...I wish I wasn't such a wuss! But that is not really why I am ditching her graduation: I have an evening class. You miss 3 or more classes, and you get marked down a full letter grade. I was really late to two classes and I think I got marked absent, so I can't miss this one!

I have a crazy set of instructors this quarter. My HTML teacher, her eyebrows are tattooed on! It's scary how she looks at people. When her eyebrows go up, OMG! I can't look at her! My portfolio class teacher looks like Teagan Quinn. I am convinced she is gay! And my web design teacher, he looks like Shreck, just not as green! Haha! Crazy bunch they are!!!

Well...Hope you enjoyed my ramblings!!!

You Need To Be Less Picky...

I am not that interested in men! There...I typed it! Haha! My family always tells me that I need to be less picky when it comes to dating men...They think I am straight! I still can't tell them how I really feel. I guess if a guy stole my heart, I would have to give him a chance, but it is so rare that I am ever even remotely interested in a guy.

My sister, who is 18 and I am 21, has this boy that she has been on and off dating for the last year or two. He is chubby and a total gamer as well as a competitive type. He comes over and sleeps on our sofa during the weekends, and God only knows what goes on between them...I so don't want to think about it. My sister loves cuddling with him, she says that he is perfect at it. But...He smells bad, and not only does he smell bad, he drinks and he forgets to shave, and...Now I see why I don't like guys.

After he leaves on Sunday, I usually get the third degree from my family. "Why don't you get a boyfriend?" They ask, as I lean back and sit manly style on the couch. Can't they see that I am just not interested in men? I have tried telling them in years past, but they don't listen! I told my mother when I was in high school, and she proceeded to tell me all about every form of sex. I went back into the closet after that.

Am I picky? Yes! I admit it. I have never slept with ANYONE!!! I am such a good girl, I have waited my whole life for my one true love, and a part of me wants them to wait for me too. I could understand them sleeping with one or two other people, but not more than that please!

But as for the "you need to be less picky" speech that I keep on getting from my family, well, they need to appreciate that I have a standard. I also have a brother, and he asks me on a regular basis if I have a boyfriend. "No..." I say. "What about that one dude who was calling you?" He asks me. "Well, we are just friends." I reply. And the conversation goes from there. He wants to know why I don't ever date the guys who are interested in me and I tell him that none of them ever interest me enough.

My conservative friends are the same way as he is. They want to know why I don't take a chance and date someone, especially someone from the church. I remember, not too far back, I was trying to be a good Christian girl. I was attending a Baptist church, and all the girls my age had crushes on the pastor's son. I never saw what was so awesome about him, in fact, he looked like Wallie Cleaver! I was convinced he was gay for the longest time. All the girls from that church went off to Christian colleges and came back with boyfriends. I didn't...I never cared enough! And I got questioned on it a lot. I also never wore skirts or dressed or acted like any of the other girls at church.

And as usual, my friends all told me "you need to be less picky! Of course you should date a good Christian guy, but...Perfection doesn't exist...Even the Bible says that."

Around that time, I decided that I didn't like church!!! I was bored. I no longer wanted to be told how to think or what was right and wrong. I didn't want to be told that men were better than women and I hated how I felt when I was there. Of course, the closeness was nice, but at the same time, I always felt judged. I wasn't out there or anything, but at the same time, they knew there had to be a reason for me never having a boyfriend. I had had one serious relationship...And they knew about it only because it was a guy. He is the only guy I have ever really dated...I have gone out on dates, but they were just that; dates!

Well...There it all is! I am tired of hearing that I need to be less picky because I like my standard! My standard is good and honestly, it keeps me safe! I don't get heartbroken every week because of it...And for those curious, I am bisexual and pretty open about it!